We’ve all adopted new self-care rituals over the years, right? (Thank goodness!) But do you take care of your sexual and sensual side via self-care? Our sensualities and sexualities need regular tending to—that could mean booking an OB-GYN appointment or, it could mean exploring new avenues of pleasure.
In this article, we’ll detail why you need a sensual sexual wellness routine and suggest 9 tips and rituals that may help you create one true sex stories.
Girl, you need a sensual sexual wellness routine
You may think your sexual desires and sensuality are taken care of by your sexual partner(s). But partnered sex is just one aspect of a holistic sexual wellness routine. The connection you have to your body and sexual health is about so much more than the type of sex you’re having.
Your sexual wellness is multifaceted.
It’s about reproductive health, vaginal health, mental health, and modern sex education. On an emotional level, it’s about boundary setting, open communication, unpacking internalized sex shame, and exploring or questioning your sexuality.
And it’s definitely about investing and indulging in sensual pleasures.
It’s a lot. But it’s incredibly important.
Let’s get into how you can incorporate all aspects into a well-rounded sexual wellness routine.
9 sexual wellness rituals to nourish the mind and body
Try one or try them all, here are 9 tips and rituals to help create a nourishing sexual wellness self-care routine.
#1 Oh, healthcare
Healthcare is an indispensable important aspect of a sexual wellness routine. Albeit, the least fun. If you have access to it, it’s best to visit your doctor for regular STD tests, cervical screenings, breast examinations, or even blood tests.
Mental health care is another huge aspect of this.
Pleasure begins in the brain. If you deal with trauma, stress, or anxiety pleasure can be hard to come by. Therapy can be very useful when it comes to sexual wellness.
#2 Read books on desire, sex, and arousal
Many of us did not receive a sex education–we learned in the field. But even if you think of yourself as sexually competent, you’d be shocked by what you never knew.
Personally, it took me years to understand my own desire and arousal. When you peek behind the curtain and learn about how your body works you can deepen self-compassion and pleasure.
If you want to learn about sexuality, desire, and pleasure I always suggest the book Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski. It’s bound to blow your mind.
#3 Orgasm, and often
Pleasure baby. Our bodies are built for it. Indulge in solo pleasure and often. Orgasms release neurochemicals like serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin, and prolactin—essentially a powerful feel-good hormone cocktail.
Try to focus on clit stimulation. The one and only function of the clitoris is a pleasure. Suction vibrators, AKA clit suckers, are the newest vibe fad for a very good reason. They seriously DELIVER.
Using vibrators regularly can help to keep vaginal tissue healthy and lubricated. The more you explore arousal, the healthier your vaginal tissues will become (and remain).
#4 Check in with your sexual identity
From birth, we are all assumed straight. But we’re not all straight. You very well may be heterosexual–but you should be the one who gets to decide this after consideration. Never considering your sexual identity for yourself is a missed opportunity.
Openly question your sexuality and where you may fall on the spectrum. You don’t need to go having an identity crisis, just check in with your desire and attraction to ensure you’re in touch with your sexuality.
#5 Mindful masturbation
Sometimes, masturbation can be a mad dash to climax. Mindful masturbation quite is the opposite. Think of it as a sexual meditation.
During mindful masturbation, you slowly and intentionally touch your body—exploring your pleasure and your body awareness. Using your breath to control your orgasm.
How often do we linger on our own bodies? Doing so is incredibly nourishing to our sensual selves. Light a candle, bust out the massage oil and explore your body.
This is a great opportunity to learn what feels good to you. This connection you establish with yourself can help improve your partnered sex too.
#6 Erotica on tap
Explore ethical porn, read erotica, or listen to audio sex stories. This is a great way to boost and explore your arousal. After all, your orgasm and pleasure potential has everything to do with how aroused you are. When you invest in your arousal you deepen your orgasm.
#7 Move your body and connect with yourself
Put on music, something you’d want to move your hips to and dance to. Don’t worry about what you look like. Who cares? Move your body to the rhythm, roll or rock your hips, and just let your body intuitively move.
This movement is inherently sensual and sexual in nature. Connecting to rhythm is sexual. Sex is all about rhythm and movement after all. Explore this. If you can connect to it, you are nourishing your sexual wellness.
If this type of ritual speaks to your soul, book a dancing class or go out to a salsa club.
#8 Look at your lady bits
Yup, we’re going there. Grab the hand mirror.
Over the course of our lives, women internalize a lot of negative messaging about their bodies. Often the consensus is–we’re not good enough in some way. But that’s a damn lie. To unlearn this, we need to reconnect with our bodies and find loving compassion for them.
This may include getting to intimately know your lady bits. So many of us have no idea what we have going on down there. Grab a hand mirror and examine your vulva (the external bits). Get comfortable with what your vulva looks like. Get to know it.
Have you ever looked at your vulva like this before? Research shows most women don’t know what their own anatomy looks like.
How can we truly love our bodies if we avoid looking at them?
This lady bit exploration also goes back to the first point–healthcare. You should be able to tell what is normal and abnormal about your vulva. Notice the texture, color, and shape. Keep an eye out for any abnormalities like suspicious-looking moles or cysts. If you do see anything concerning, don’t fret, talk to your OB-GYN.
#9 Enjoy partnered sex with open communication
We’re done with not asking for what we want in the bedroom. It’s over.
An aspect of a nourishing sexual wellness routine is the quality of our intimate sexual connections. Take what you’ve learned while exploring your sexuality and introduce it into your shared bedroom. Ask the stimulation you know you like. If it’s working, tell them “don’t stop”. If they are just off-center with their direction, take their hand and direct them.
This open communication is two ways. Ask your partner what they want, ask them how to make them feel good, and listen.
Not only does healthy open communication strengthen our intimate relationships, but it improves our sex lives. Can’t beat that.
Now, go put this to the test, babe
Pick a few rituals and tips off this list and explore them. Remain open and see what you find. You may come out to the other side feeling a deeper connection to yourself and your partner.
Author Bio:
Lauren Johnson
Lauren is the founder of BerryLemon, where she works to modernize pleasure products and sex education for all.