Money. Power. Pleasure. Prestige. These are the so-called idols of life. The achievement of which is constantly reinforced by social media and the world around us. But does the achievement of these idols actually lead to a happy fulfilled life? The wisest—and likely oldest— among us would confidently answer this question in the negative. Even if you’re the richest person in the world, what is it worth if you don’t have anyone to share it with?
On a recent episode of The Gabby Reece show, host Gabby Reece sat down with Arthur C Brooks, who teaches a happiness course at Harvard University, and asked him about the path that leads to a happy life. The happiness path, it turns out, doesn’t concern itself with money or material success, it’s more concerned with our relationships and our ability to serve others. On the pod, Brooks mentioned that our friendships are an integral part of our happiness and investing in them can lead to an overall happier life. But even if we know this, making friends as an adult can be difficult. Especially if we’ve recently moved, gone through a break-up, or left old toxic friendships behind.
While difficult, making friends as an adult is not impossible, and simply requires the right kind of effort and action. Below are some of the steps you can take to make friends as an adult, today.
Steps you can take today
Join a group
Joining a group that shares common interests can be a great way to make friends as an adult. Whether it’s joining a book club, running club, art club, or wine club, bonding over a common interest helps to break the ice and get the conversation started with someone you’ve just met. Luckily there are a ton of ways to find groups that interest you online. From simply googling an activity in your neighborhood and seeing what comes up, to joining a group-specific app like Meetup, meeting people in a group helps to take the pressure of first encounters.
Get outside
While it can be tempting to stay home all day and interact with others online, there is no substitute for IRL connection. Making friends as an adult doesn’t have to be as all-or-nothing as it sounds, and you can start by getting more familiar with the people in your neighborhood. Instead of ordering your groceries online, go to a local market and talk to the person behind the counter. Instead of getting a latte to-go, sit down and enjoy it in your neighborhood cafe. Instead of reading a book on your sofa, take it to a local park bench. Just being around people you don’t know, even if just peripherally, can help you to get more comfortable around strangers and may eventually lead to a new connection.
Be the person you want to be
According to the law of attraction, like attracts like. So a great way to start meeting the people you want to be friends with, is by embodying the kind of energy you want to attract. If you want to be friends with a kind, hard-working, and disciplined person, then you need to embody that energy. Your energy will attract people operating on the same energetic wavelength. On the other hand, if you often feel worried, anxious, or overwhelmed, you’re giving off negative energy. That negative energy will attract negative people and events into your life. In short, practice being the kind of person you want to be friends with, and they just might appear when you least expect it.
Running is a great way to meet people
One of the most underrated sports is also one of the best ways to meet new people. Running is so accessible that almost anyone can do it, all you need is a good pair of running shoes. One of the best parts of running is that it releases feel-good chemicals called endorphins. Ever heard of “runners high”? This euphoric feeling also makes it easier to talk and bond with others, making running one of the most underrated friendship facilitators, ever.
Apps like the klubb can help you meet new running buddies and help you run together consistently. Having a running schedule and sticking to it, is key to building a running relationship. Studies show that it takes 90 hours together to consider someone a good friend, so it’s important to be consistent and show up for your friend, even when you don’t feel like it.