According to David Eagleman, an American neuroscientist and author, a human being undergoes three deaths. The first one occurs when one breathes last, the second one when the body is interred, and the last one is when the name of the deceased is last mentioned.
While the first and second death is inevitable and beyond human intervention, the last one is avoidable. Losing a loved one is incredibly difficult and can leave you feeling hopeless and lost. However, honoring the departed memory helps you take control of grief and find something positive in the most horrid times. See below how you can honor your loved ones by preserving their memory.
Put Together a Video
In this technology-rich era, you can easily create a classic memorial video for your departed loved one. You may need to gather pictures, music that the deceased loved, videos and other memorabilia, then create a video to share with other family members and friends.
Incorporate videos where the deceased are featured, audio and favorite movies or songs. You may need to convert your 8mm movies to DVD to preserve the content.
Consider sharing the video when celebrating milestones of the deceased, like birthdays or memorials. Initially, watching such videos may feel like torture with pain and unbearable to watch. However, the video will become more valuable with time when memories fade, and people struggle to remember details like the sound of their voice.
Videos also help younger family members who never met the deceased a chance to ‘interact’ with them in a way that still photos cannot.
Make a Memorial
Making a memorial is an intentional way of preserving the memories of a departed loved one. Some people prefer simple things like a collection of some few items the deceased held dear like a watch, bracelet, chain, or rings. Others prefer to remember their loved ones with elaborate pieces like a photo collage or piece of furniture.
There are no ground rules when making a memorial; only ensure that whatever you settle for makes you feel your loved one’s presence. If getting into the space makes you feel grounded when you get up feeling detached and numb, you have achieved the goal.
Carry on a Tradition
Traditions bring meaning to family units as they foster special bonds among members. They also create positive memories and experiences through nurturing the connection of families.
Another great thing that family union does is that it helps pass on family values, including religious and cultural heritage. For years, generations have connected and have a family history to share.
Whether you hang out every Christmas day singing carols or have dinner every Thanksgiving, keep the traditions alive long after your loved ones depart. Traditions have a massive role in keeping the memories of a loved one alive. If there is a tradition that you shared with the departed, keep it alive and going.
If you meet monthly to watch a movie while eating chicken wings, carry the tradition in honor of the departed.
A Keepsake!
Closets and drawers full of a loved one’s clothes may overwhelm you with emotions, and discarding them is extremely difficult. This is because they are a tangible connection, and getting rid of them brings a sense of guilt. Consider turning their favorite shirt or dress into a cushion cover, pillow, napkin, patchwork quilt or an accessory. You can also cut a piece and frame it!
Just check online for inspiration and guidelines on how to DIY, but if you cannot, feel free to outsource the job.
Get a Support Group
Like any other load, a loss feels heavier when you bear it alone and in isolation. When suffering loss, it is crucial to know that there are other people in the same storm, which helps to walk together. Plan for meet-ups with other families and take time to get together with people going through a similar loss.
You and your family can tell stories, share memories, and remember the deceased together. When different people share stories about someone, you will learn another side of them. With time, turn the meet-ups into fun activities like games or meaningful activities like planting trees. You can also play the deceased’s favorite song.
Give Back in Their Name
Investing resources into something your loved one was passionate about is a great way of preserving their memory and a beautiful way to honor them. Start a charity program or grant towards something they were passionate about to keep the community vibrant towards the event annually. It does not have to be big. Just make it happen.
Conclusion
A loved one’s loss is hard to deal with, and you may want the feeling to vanish with all the memories. However, preserving the memory of your loved one is one of the journeys towards healing.