Divorce is a painful thing to go through. It doesn’t matter what age you are at, what your gender or sexual orientation is or if you are the one leaving or got left – divorce always leaves behind a trail of misery.
One could say that the aspect of breaking down every part of your relationship is the most stressful event that could occur in one’s life. Along with this stress comes many emotions, including shock, anger, denial, anxiety, doubt, remorse, guilt, depression, grief and more. These emotions tend to overlap and overwhelm the individual going through the divorce. The process is often described as a whirlpool, and people struggle to come to terms with it – especially when the divorce is nasty. At the outset, the parties involved in the relationship tend to be at different stages of the cycle. That is why it is crucial to hold knowledge of Discovery in Divorce.
Observing Toxic Traits
The truth is that there is no easy way to get through a divorce. There is no formula you can apply to the situation to make it smoother. However, due to decades of observation, there are a few suggestions you could implement to prevent the divorce from becoming messy. So, here are a few lifestyle changes you can make to avoid a messy divorce:
1. Support System and Emotions
It is essential to understand that a divorce is the worst time to keep to yourself and keep your feelings bottled up. During a divorce, closed friends of a couple are forced to choose sides, leading to you feeling isolated and alone. To battle such emotions, make sure that you find the correct support system. You can relieve your worries and alleviate your anxiety by confiding in people you trust. Allow yourself to grieve the end of your relationship and come to terms with the divorce.
It does not matter who left who or who did what. During the divorce, it is crucial to put things into perspective and give yourself time to forgive yourself and your soon to be ex-partner. Furthermore, you should communicate your aims, wants, needs and feelings to your loved ones.
3. Choose a Solicitor
Following the separation, you are likely to wish to protect yourself, and you can do so by appointing an expert lawyer. Your lawyer will provide you with basic information regarding the system and the process. You will be able to gain a clear understanding of the process you are about to go through. You need to carefully choose your solicitor as your solicitor’s role can result in two ways; either it leads to an increase in bitterness, or you are encouraged to see the advantages of a productive non-confrontational approach.
Also, try not to accept legal advice from people who are not your lawyer. While the intentions of such people could be pure, it could ruin your defence and further complicate the situation.
4. Avoid Making Comparisons
It is not healthy to compare yourself to other divorced couples. A lot of myths will fly around regarding divorce, and it is in your best interests to ignore them. Some couples who manage to get through the divorce without hostility and expensive court processes are not always in the same situation as you are. Some couples tend to have the ability to keep the emotional process of divorce separate from the legal process.
5. Collaborative Approach
If you want your divorce to go smoothly, you have to cooperate with each other. The most cost-effective and time-effective method that ends with you two on good terms is pursuing the collaborative approach. The collaborative approach suggests a non-confrontational way to settle family conflicts. This requires establishing boundaries and working together.